Without a doubt it is my strong opinion the main reason why most people stay in relationships in which they are not satisfied or are unhappy is because of the fear of loneliness. It’s extremely common and very normal to feel a sense of loneliness after a divorce or similar separation.
A very popular explanation concerning the two types of loneliness was pioneered by Robert S Weiss. Mr. Weiss categorized loneliness into two types: Loneliness of Emotional Isolation also known as emotional loneliness and Loneliness of Social Isolation also known as social loneliness.
In emotional loneliness, the emotional attachment or the bond with your significant other has been lost via a divorce or similar type of separation. The usual patterns, conversations and routines associated with your relationship have been lost and cut off from your daily life. Not only has the regular routine been broken, but you are left feeling empty as a result of the physical absence of your partner.
Social loneliness is experienced when you are lacking a social network. This often will be a second factor contributing to the loneliness associated with a divorce or separation as your usual social circles and events are disrupted and friends are divided.
A feeling of loneliness and sometimes anxiety is produced as you may feel that you do not have a network of friends that you can rely on in your time of need. I have seen this played out all too often on Facebook as “friends” who are going through separation reach out to their social community in an attempt to fill this void.
As with most of my writings I believe that the key to your happiness lies not outside of you, but inside of you. Accepting the fact that loneliness is a common, normal, and temporary state associated with your divorce or separation should enable you to seek resources to help you go into, through, and out of this state of mind.
The main key here is to remember that this is a temporary situation – life moves on and you will get through this. In the meantime, I have assembled a few strategies to help you ease the burden and help get you through this time of loneliness and transition.